Hi Rabbi [LAST_NAME GOES HERE],

When I wrote fiction for Mishpacha (a very, very long time ago), one of the story editors, Rachael, said she judges every submission by the opening line.

If the conflict weren’t already clear in the first line, the story was over. There was nothing more to read.

I remember being so pressured by that. It’s a tall order! You can't open with a nice scene or a prelude. It needed to open – BAM – with an understanding of the conflict.

Omer couldn’t hear Noa over the rumble of his tractor. “Hi!” she tried again. She held the tray with the glasses against her side and waved her free arm to catch his attention.

^^ This was the opening line we finally went with for a story about Shmitah. There’s a strong hint to the conflict – the husband and wife not hearing/understanding each other, and disagreeing about whether or not to keep Shmitah.

And while that’s a tall order for NPO emails, brochures, and newsletters, anything you write works essentially the same way. Your opening line is the most powerful part of your message.

Your first line is where people make a choice: Do I keep reading or move on?

Drop the reader into a real human moment of conflict, emotion, or immediate impact.

Spend time making the first line clear, emotional, and punchy.

When reviewing your materials, ask yourself, “Would this catch me?” If I were reading this, would I be curious to know what’s in the next line?

(And if you’re not sure of the answer, feel free to email your materials to me. For the next 10 days, send one piece and I’ll weigh in with some feedback via email.)

Make them feel something in the first sentence.

That’s when they stay.

Our agency helps multi-million dollar nonprofits with marketing strategy and copywriting that touches hearts. And gets people giving. See our NPO packages

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